Day 19 Not Smoking

Today makes my 19th day without a cigarette.  It actually feels good.  I haven’t had the insatiable pangs for the smooth pain of a drag of a cigarette that I thought I was going to have.  I don’t even miss the oral fixation that smoking creates with the repeated gesture of putting a cigarette to my mouth.

I don’t feel superhuman or that I have the lung capacity of a whale now.  It just feels good not to be smoking cigarettes.  It feels good not to NEED a cigarette.  Now I realize that need is just artificial.

Why?  Why stop now?

The reasons are threefold.
1)  Financial.

Being a father, husband and a homeowner I am in dire need of Life Insurance.  If I die I don’t think my wife and child would be comfortable without my income.   Life insurance premiums for me as a non smoker are $25/month for a $750,000 policy, if I declare myself as a smoker my premium goes up to 150/month.  God Damn, I need to stop smoking.

2) Endurance.

I’ve been getting into endurance running.  I’ve heard through the grapevine that endurance running and smoking Newport box does not mix too well.

3)  My daughter is more aware

My daughter is about to turn 4, she’s very observant and sharp.  She knows something is up when mommy and daddy keep slipping to the side patio.  Eventually she’s going to figure out that I’m smoking cigarettes.  I just don’t feel like dealing with that.

I’m not going to front I would really like to smoke a cigarette.  My wife smokes making the temptation even stronger.

 

Starting Over

Sometimes its better to just start over.

I’ve been keeping a blog for over 10 years and for the last I’ve hardly posted anything at all.  My creativity has come in fits and spurts.

What happened?  Well shineharder.com was infected and hacked by some sort of ruthless miscreant who wants to steal my measly number of hits and have them redirected to their site.  It might be for some sort of distributed DDS attack, or some scheme to get more google add revenue, but whatever it is being hacked is no fun.  I wonder what the financial incentive is.

On a different level shineharder.com was infected with my own sloth and averice (queue emo music here).  Head drops.

Now I start over with what I don’t know.  (wasn’t that sappy?)